hello!
back from Wednesday NCC PT. damned tiring. This may be a long ranting post.

still can't Get over Vietnam, still must do the vietnam accent, still must eat COCONUT CANDY, still must tok abt things that happened in Vietnam.

SOOO, got many things to tok abt.

RANDOMNESS.
i've found out, or realised, that i was like damned retarded being random all the time. So, i decided that i shouldn't be so childish and mad anymore. i wanna try to compose myself. Don't be ignorant to some things. The only time that i will be Hyper and go mad will be times in Drama. being too talkative and bullshitting all abt just annoys me now, i dunno, especially guys doing that, so yeah. i'm not gonna do that and dislike myself. But, if the bullshitting and joke actually makes sense, i would go along and play with it. Rmb, i got a hyper and happy personality one. it's natural.

Déjà vu :
I always, for no particular reason, always get a sense of dejavu. i always see or do something, then i will say, wait, and i will think that that situation or thing i am in actually happpened in the past. i always see things and think that it had happened before.

Like for example, When i got to the orphanage in vietnam, when i saw Evangelines bunch of blocks in her hands, i suddenly got an immediate Dejavu, a feeling that it happened before. i was disoriented, and went into a daze. but got back on track with life again.
Also sometimes, chatting with friends, i will also get that same feeling.
I THINK I can Therefore confirm that i'n suffering from Paramnesia. :X

THAT DREAM:
i also realised that my dream i had could be related to what's happening now. i dunno, but i think it really does. i got this dream, i dreamt that i was all grown up. like a drama show, i was like some really bad DAD. i had a wife, and i still clearly remember her face,it resembles my last Crush, which i frantically went to find out who she was when i woke up.So, as i was dreaming,i was like abusing that girl, i dunno, it's like the opposite side of me. i shouted at her, and she told me she has a baby or somethin. i was damned irresponsible and ran out of the house.
then i remember i left her crying and feeling really miserable,in that dream. in real life after waking up, i was really mad at myself in the dream, coz, how can i treat a girl like that lah.
and, i can't remember any more of such, and i woke up. the only thing i rmb was the face of my wife. so i went to search, coz she looks like someone i met before. And that explains my last Heavy Crush on a girl. i saw her in my dream.
But, it's all over now, i didn't bother abt her oreadi, although she still looks Wonderful, LOL, and i still can't resist but to take a peek at her even so i think i dislike her.
ONLY thing that kinda strike me is, i would aim to never be such an asshole husband man.
i would STRIVE to be like my DAD. like how he handles things when my mom and him have a fight or argument. he is usually the one who gives in and solves it. so much nicer. the familiy wouldn't get so messed up.
i hated myself man in that dream.
And now, i don't think that wife i got is actually that last Heavy Cush Girl. it's another more imperfect,more hard to get, more Happy, more simply-complicated girl i know.
Well, it does. my mind is just mad. now that wife resembles that current girl. -.-

i got no nice media to show but i'lll try to find, See it in the next post, i'm really freakin tired.

Labels: again, Freakin tired