the power of 'IF' & Optical Illusions.
This a really great Question
Letitia posted on facebook:
"...........what if everything was an optical illusion?"
Letitia's great. she can really think. and ponder on such questions lol. Seriously. she is like those smart smart thinking girl that have a broad knowledge on be it general or academic knowledge. she's has my respects for sure. :D
anyways, she said,
"optical illusions suck. well, at least most of them. things are not what you think they are. friends maybe never existed and all the good things in life have strings attached. ahhhh??!!!!???!!"
YES. exactly. that
IF, friends & good stuffs part.
IF is a strong word. it's a word in a sentence that sets the mind thinking, and stimulates the mind to think of the scenario that may happen in the future. sometimes the mind just lets the whole matter go, or sometimes, it registers it in a part of a memory. it probably even thought of a solution for that matter and was getting ready for it
IF it really happens.
Knowing that every beautiful or ugly thing we see in life are all just a matter of your eyes playing a trick on you is miserable. it's shocking to actually find out that your bestest, closest friends that are around you now that have spent countless times with you ALL NEVER FUCKING EXISTED- it's all a
lie, and Good things that comes all have a price to pay. Knowing and discussing all these can crap up a 5 year- old's mind coz it will disintegrate one's soul to the lowest point, so five year olds should never read my page. HAHA.
It's true. we all have to accept it.
THE WORLD IS A LIE. the whole world. everything. every amt of money your parents or yourself have earned are all run by Lies. Every advertisement you see on TV regarding things like "ROCK hard abs in 2 days"or "Lose 400lbs in 7 days" or "E cup boobs in 3 hours" are all lies to make some money outta you. Even your parents and some of you make money through decieving someone of your product being awesome when it doesn't really do shit.
I once said on twitter & facebook,
"Lying makes the world go round." AND HELL YES. it is true. lying is freelance. it helps the world and destroys the world also. it creates war, it also prevents war. it creates distrust, but also prevents distrusts. Lying is like the big brother of money. They say,
"money makes the world go round", but it's not that accurate at all.
Lying when paired up with money is the deadliest weapon one can have to rule the world secretly. well, i may leave out a component or two, but this two things combined together is
like Batman and Robin together. The ultimate duo. SO then how? if everything was the truth, won't the world be messed up?
Well
the truth is hard to swallow seriously. that's why some people say
"I'm speaking truth, believe it or not, just suck it up and stop whining." when they tell you the truth. but seriously. accept it. it's the
ugly muthafecking truth.Let's
IMAGINE.
If let's say you are
Taylor. You've been living a sweet life, you've got a rather acceptable amount of money, you've got tons of friends you could hang around, all your friends love you, they help you when you are in need, your life is great, you've got good parents, EVERYTHING seems perfect. And one day, you ran too fast down a flight of stairs to rush to the class you were late for and had a great fall. you knocked yourself unconscious. and then, that was the time you met
God.
God came to you and showed you that your life was all just an optical illusion and in actual fact, the world you've been living in is a ghost world, a silent, greyish environment without colours. no soul was ever truly alive, no friendship was really sustainable and powerful, no parental love have ever been true and all good things was just a fake bunch of bullcrap you been recieving. all
the money you had was blank pieces of paper that you thought could buy you a mansion to live in. The aunty in the mama shop never sold anything.
there were never history nor there is science. Math is just a bunch of wierd characters made by fake people. every compliment you hear everyday were actually insults that were censored. Life was dull & empty. only you, lonely in the
land of truth.
how would you feel when you faced the truth? would you feel devastated, sad, empty lonely, and felt that you've been cheated all your life since you were born? would you hide it to yourself, and feel sad and cry about it all day long or, would you think otherwise and hate God for decieving you all the time? or would you treat it like a damned joke, and try living in the boring REAL WORLD you've been revealed to?
So, when you were absorbing all the shock and trauma that have been disclosed to you,
God rests his divine palms on your shoulders and said,
"Taylor, this is the ugly truth. it was all an optical illusion. you were living a life like this throughout you whole life. But now i give you a choice to go back into the life you've been leading all this while. you are dead, FYI. you didn't survive the fall. but i give you another chance. another chance to live in the optical illusion you were in. how 'bout it child?"
What would you answer to God? would you rather live in the real world where everything is hostile,mean and miserable, or go back to the
Land of lies that you've been leading all your life?
To my opinion, i feel that if everything was an optical illusion, one's soul will degenerate to a lonely emo state, where everything would never relate to oneself. humans need mutual love, support, and company. that's why. so,
i'd rather enjoy the lies that i have been living of all along than find out the ugly truth and cry and feel sad about it. Coz, why make yourself emo when you don't deserve being one right? but yeah lah, i can take one or two truths in a while lah.
humans are made to take some negative stuffs, but not all in one blow.
So yeah. people who think too much shouldn't think too much. coz it's bad for the mind, the mind will seek for every answer left unanswered when you think too much and then you'll become the girl/guy who knew too much. and that's bad. many girls and boys that knew too much actually becomes homosexuals. BECAUSE, their
'knew too much' are answered with bad influence either from experience, or their elders teaching them the wrong stuffs.
(all characters used are fictional and made up to let you be able to relate to. Any resemblance are purely coincidental and not specifically used for critism or complimental purpose.)Ah, you see? another lie.
Labels: Case Study, coincidence, Lies, Optical illusion
By Loysius Gräfenberg @
Friday, November 20, 2009, 11:44 PM
Iblog, Ublog, Weblog.
YESH FINALLY I TOUCH THE SEXY COMPUTER. GEEZ!!! haha.
I've got lots to say you know that. not blogging for like a week or two can kill i tell you. seriously. those of you that blog as a diary or like a place to dump you mindjunk, you'll know the feeling. YEAH? RIGHT? it is that "shit my whole head is full of stuffs, i need to make a post quick, if not MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE in any second!!"
i'm sure i'm not the only one.....right? HAHA.
I am a miserable mobile phone hugger right now. the mobile phone is like my wife or something. the same as how a soldier 'loves' his rifle, but once the war is over he immediately smashes it onto the ground. seriously. i've got NO access to a computer and my 'ex-computer' is still not repaired. i do eveything on the mobile, be it Tweeting, Facebooking, Surfing the net, Blogging, Download music and trying to view the PAGES that my friends recommend. Which sucks, coz its slow and it doesn't show the full features like a computer does.
WELL, forgetaboutit, I've got better things to type anyway.
ANYWAY~ a week ago, I got my Favouuurite game! MODERN WARFARE 2! after almost a WEEK of anticipation, I GOT IT!
Modern Warfare 2 FTW!
and my, it was BRILLIANT and its the bomb of the whole call of duty franchise. Seriously. this whole game has my vote for the 'Game of the year' title for Xbox 360. The storyline combining Modern Warfare and Modern Warfare 2 was awesome. i loved the ending to both games, and i'm pretty sure there's a sequel to MW2. :D
Loved it. anyway. Loved it. the only criticism it gets from me, is it's Campaign being too short. :D
Yeah. I've been blogging via Twitter all this while, all in 140 words(it's damned hard). Haiz. see how pathetic i am now? :(
Quoted from Twitter:
"I wanna be in a skit similar to J&A! but the cast are my friends luh. that would be so fun! :D"
Yeah. FYI, J&A is Jake and Amir. it is a show made by collegehumor. AND man, i wish i could be in the cast. Also, i wanna be in their show, Hardly working too. Damned funny. XD
Here's one episode( embedding is disabled by requests, so i only have links...):
And, not related, IS THE ANNOYING ORANGE 2!
HAHAHA orange is a JOKE! XD
"Absence only works two ways: it either makes you miss someone, therefore saturates the bond in between, or it makes you forget someone." I found this out and felt like tweeting it. doesn't it make sense and applies on you daily lives too?
"Your bad exposure= a corrupted thinking= stupid decisions= no actions done= every man suffers= your sad, sad, regrets. :(" This is actually for
Joyce Cooper, but i was afraid that i would forget it so i tweeted it on twitter.
So yeah. thats all, i still have alot to blog on, but i'm not given the chance. And, i
censored alot of things i wanna write too. so yeah, Thanks for reading this, there will be more coming up! :D
And who is Maryana? never heard of that name before. if you are Maryana, and you bloghopped and 'hopped' onto my blog again, please leave your link in my Chatango, coz you wanted me to link you. haha. thanks!
And yeah, updated Tumblelog! :D SEE YA!
Labels: updates.
By Loysius Gräfenberg @
, 12:30 PM
The Mad Dreamer (ep2)
So
hello again. everytime you see me update my blog, it's on my
2 hour computer usage basis. so, i have to actually write this in two hours .
Alright. now. Part two out of 2 of my Epic and wierd dreams. let me tell you, if my writings doesn't make sense,
deal with it, cause its from a dream, and i can't really write dreams perfectly well. and my dreams are queerish, if not it will be
boring to feature it. :D
i can't remember the first one that well, but the second, CRYSTAL CLEAR. but shorter. so yeah.
First up, i dreamt that i was already 19-20 years old, i was in the army. and theres this
Douchebaggy guy in my company, Charlie company. he was rather small in size, spikes his hair like mad, shows off his undeveloped and untrained muscles to everybody, and SUPER egoistic. like those kind that brags about how good is he in everything and looks down at every training that an average person will feel difficult in the military. but when he attempts it,
HE SUCKS SHIT. he also has a smile you wanna give a punch to. those smirky smile.
fuck. he is like the guy
i will hate the most. this kind. but i still regard him as a casual friend.
so, we were released for a week or a month i think, out from camp to go back and meet my family. it turns out that this
Douchebag knows my sister, and is quite interested in her. so he likes to pester her all the time, be it sms, messenger, meetups, he even stalks on her before, into a macdonalds toilet. i wanted to go celebrate the release from DOG TREATMENT in the army, so i went out clubbing with friends.
Next day, i found out that my sis WAS RAPED BY SOMEONE. i got home seeing her hiding in blankets, crying, my mom beside. immediately, HE became one of the suspects i suspected. i don't always show that i like my sis alot, but subconsciously, i dunno why i became so worried. i asked her and interrogatee her. after a long period, she told me who it was. IT WAS THAT DOUCHEBAG.
i was hell angry, i tried contacting him and finding him during our short break, but couldn't. the problem couldn't be solved until we got back into the army. when we were training at a pistol firing range, i was so angry, i wanna put a bullet in his leg or somewhere else he could feel extreme pain- his BALLS.
i aimed my own target, he was still bragging beside me abt how good his results is gonna be, enraged, I swung my gun diagonally, pointing at his crotch.
BUT, before i could actually squeeze my trigger, One of my superiors called upon his name. I LOSTMY CHANCE OF SHOOTING HIM. but i was lucky. if not i would be a murderer.
It turns out the authorities in the army heard of it, and the military police is gonna give him 55 strokes of the cane. i was called in to witness his suffering. i was kinda happy. the military police caned the first few strokes, that douchebag couldn't take it. he screamed like it was hell on the wooden stand made for caning. he was in shackles. until the 18th stroke (continously), he head fell. He was dead. the military police made the strokes so hard, his spleeen exploded.
Slowly, the dream faded, and it went into
another dream. this is the one which
i liked, alot. :D
I was in France for something, and Joyce and i was seperated for a long time. for some reason, i missed Joyce Cooper, i wanted to see her again. but she was in Singapore. I got news that in my whole time in France, she suddenly went into
Fashion designing and migrated to New York to make herself known to the famous people there. I was overjoyed when i heard that, and I wanted so much to congratulate her. so if i want to see her and give her my congrats, why don't i
kill two birds with one stone, and just take a FLIGHT THERE to find her? HAHAH. so thats what i did immediately. i didn't see Joyce for almost 2 years, all we did was messenger, messenger, messenger, WHICH was all
" oh i'm sorry, i'm kinda busy right now. Ttyl !" . SO this was it. i took a flight to new york.
I landed in NY, quickly got my luggages and stuffs, and tried my best to find her workshop. i went allround Time Square finding for a day, but to no avail. so i called her Best Friend, which, lucky for me, tagged along with Joyce as her assistant when they got to NY. Joyce's best friend told me her workplace address, and was excited tht i was coming.
When i got there, i opened the workshop door, Joyce was working on a dress. i smiled widely to myself. i finally get to see her. here's how it goes.
Me: Hey! girls! haha. :DJoyce's Best Friend: OH Hi Loysius. {Eh, Joyce, Loysius is here! he came all the way from France to see you! }
Joyce didn't answer. she didn't even greet me or anything. something was wrong. immediately i felt my heart
sank. i got over to her desk and:
Me: Joyce! i got you something from france, you'll love it. I....She turned away, like she doesn't wanna hear a word i say and walked to the sewing room and started sewing.
i was shocked.i got all the way here to recieve this
'warm' welcome from Joyce. i was devastated.
Me: What's wrong with Joyce? eh?JBF: Haiz. Loysius Loysius Loysius. (shaking her head) you should know why yourself.
Me: no really. what's wrong?JBF: oh so you think i will know? come on, it's the problem between you two, how would i know.Me: but man, what did i do? all i did was... ( i strated thinking really hard.)JBF: i dunno... i think you did something wrong. Joyce wasn't like that untill you called. maybe you didn't contact her after so long, and she's angry.Me: Jeez. gosh. what the hell.JBF: i think you go talk to her better lah.at this moment, Joyce got out again, to her drawing table. i walked towards her, and i saw a variety of designs drawings laid in her work table.
Me: wow. great designs you have there.Joyce: (no answer, seemed to ignore me)Me: Joyce... what's wrong? i'm back, and i missed you. I was worrying about how you were all this while, seriously. i even got you these straight from France they're the best and i...
Joyce: ....Me: OKAY. YOU STAYING SILENT. alright good.... (i was frustrated, but I think it was my fault.)... Look i'm sorry alright? i'm sorry I was away for so long. but come on, please, say something. PLEASE?Joyce: ....Joyce stood up, stared me deeply in the eye, with her usual poker face, walked a few steps towards me, she came so close i could feel her breath on my neck.
she was still staring, her face carrying a neutral expression, WHICH was so
beautiful after so long not seeing her,
i stared back, wishing it wouldn't end.
But then Suddenly, she broke out of the stare and went on doing her stuffs. i was still staring and only brokeout of it half a second later. I WAS FUCKING CONFUSED. i turned back, saw her best friend looking at me, and she shook her head. but i caught her little giggle with a smile when she turned away. there's something fishy going on, but i dare not jump to conclusions....
It all looked like it was a staged act, it was awkward. AND THEN I WOKE UP. D:
damned sad, but it was a Great dream, considering all the voilent ones i had in the past.
That's the end of this episode. HAHA. hope you enjoyed. :D
Labels: Joyce Cooper, Wierdest dreams.
By Loysius Gräfenberg @
Wednesday, November 11, 2009, 1:35 PM
The Mad Dreamer.
they've got The
Mad Hatter in
Alice in Wonderland, i have the title of being The
Mad Dreamer. LOL. i kinda love remembering all my epic dreams the first time i wake up in the morning.
NOW,
i keep a small notebook beside my bed so that i can record all my epic and bizarre dreams immediately when i wake up, so as to not miss out any detail. HAHAHA, a wierd thing to do, but our brain is so wonderful, it's
worth recording down it's creations. :D
So, as i
promised, i will write down my Dreams here, i have four(4) of it, two of which were during the EOY week, which is in october. Another two is dreamt of just yesterday night, this morning i woke up saying to myself, " COOL." HAHA. All of those i feature here are the best of all dreams, so yeah.
Here Goes. This one's in October, according to sequence (not that accurate, but around there):
Alright. I was on a train, like those kinda trains unlike those in singapore, like those that brings you to johor or something. the train was classical and grand, it's a really wierd train. i was outside a cabin on a balcony with Ming Keat, we were kinda locked up outside.i didn't know how we got there. i looked through the window of the cabin door, all those people inside are like all from my school. they were all chatting, but not fooling around. both Ming Keat and I wore those kind of 19 century steampunk clothes, then i felt like going in. so i bodyslammed the door, but failed, and almost fell off the train. Ming caught hold of me. then:
Loy: Aye, minkeat, you damned strong one right? use your fluffy muscles.
Ming Keat: Huh? What?
Loy: you try to split open the door lah.
Ming Keat: Huh? you shut up larh, you do. i cannot one.
Loy: WTF. Oi, you are like stronger than me leh. you see you go train muscles and get so much buff, and you don't use it, then what for go train them? act only arh?
Ming Keat: haha, ok i try.He managed to actually split open the door, and even left a big dent on it. secretly i was like WOAh, but i kept silent. we got in, then people were laughing. AND SERIOUSLY. EVERYBODY i know was on the train. we both explored the train, then went through a door at the side of that same cabin. we found out there were seats outside also. with seat belts. Delia, Jean and Junyuan were already seated down. the wind was super strong, so i decided to sit outside. BUT SUPRISINGLY, Delia was still in her bubbly mood, talking to jean, whilst Jean is like a Drukard, holding a bottle of alcohol. i was disgusted, cause she drank it and the alcohol leaked all way down to her dress and onto her high heels. i chat with junyuan, then suddenly:
Delia: ARRH omg! (both hands on her cheeks) Fire! fire! hahahha Jeeeaaan on fire! Hehe!(in a baby voice)Jean: haha no lah. sit so long, my butt also feels warm. heheeeLoy: 'O'!
Apparently, without no reason, Jeans dress was
on fire, near her crotch. and she was still smiling and hiccuping. i was wearing a blazer so i quickly took it off and beat the fire out. man, it was scary. then:
Jean: wah, the wind blew my butt heat dry. HAHA (delia laughed)
Loy: phew. (ming keat and Junyuan was shocked till hell, then laughed.)
i can't believe i dreamt Jean to be like that. ~brrrr~
i woke up, it was 4 in the morning, i quickly wrote it down and went to sleep.
Then this is where some epicness comes in. the
2nd dream, it is always the second thats best, i was with my class friends, Joshua, Gerald, Junyuan, Brendan, Ding Quan and me.
Again, we were in a transport, in a bus, with a back not with backseats, but a open place for people to stand. so all seats are at the front of the bus. (FYI). ok so we gathered there, we were talking and stuff.
SUDDENLY, i pulled out a handgun. i don't know where the hell it came from, but i just had it and i went on a random shooting. i randomly shot everywhere, i saw Wai Lum dodging it like a REAL ninja, and the bullets fly everywhere. it was six rounds, i cleared all of them. i stopped, nobody seemed injured. but every thing was silent. Gerald, Junyuan and Ding Quan looked at me with the super scared face. then suddenly, behind alll of them, Joshua appeared , his hands on his chest, his uniform bloodied, he was coughing up blood, and gurgling.
Gerald laughed, but hysterically. Ding quan shouted
"WTF?" Junyuan looked at me like i was a killer, Wai lum was dumbfounded, ALL STARING AT Joshua. Joshua was crouching, and trying to get up, but as he does it more blood is spilt. i was devastated. i dropped the gun. I was a murderer. i shivered like mad. the passengers behind did not react to anything, but the driver did. he immediately stopped the bus and ran off shouting like a mad man.
Joshua was on the floor, spastic. then
Gerald pushed me, and said jokingly:
"Loysius! you see lah, anyhow shoot, see Joshua now like that. huh, what have you got to say asshole!" Ding quan said: Loysius, you're gonna die oreadi. joshua sure die. (wai lum agreed but gerald shut him up.)Joshua got up, and tried saying
"i'm fine no worrys", but before he spoke two vessel/intestine/innard looking cylindrical stuffs shot out of his chest. THERE WAS A FUCKING BIG HOLE IN HIS CHEST. he then collasped.
BOOM. i was in police interrogation. they asked whether it was me who shot Josh. i confessed. but there was no proof, as the gun was nowhere to be found, along with the bullets. so they had to ask the person that was shot, Josh.
Miraculously, he was okay, in an ICU ward. all my class friends were gathered there. i was in handcuffs as i headed there. here's how it goes.
Officer: people, can you leave the room, we have some business here. (everybody left.) Joshua, this is the suspect that probably SHOT you. DID. HE, Shoot you?Joshua looked at me weakly, i was too guilty to speak. i was ready to face death anyway.
Joshua: No....officer. he didn't. i am sure he.... didn't. please don't charge him.
Officer: .... then who?Joshua: that leaves the job for you federals to find out who.Officer: but we suspect it's him. a driver saw it.
joshua: HE DID NOT *cough* if you dare charge him, you will be sued.
Officer:... ok thank you Joshua. go get some rest.the officer took off my hand cuffs and got out of the room. i ran towards Josh.
Me: man, dude, why didn't you say it was me?
Josh: no, you did that accidentally. it was... no biggie lah. i'm ok now you see?ME: BUT I FREAKING SHOT YOU.
Joshua: Nah. i forgive you.i woke up. looks like joshua is like super the freaking forgiving. wierd. queer.
OK, this is damned long, i'll write the other two in the next post. Stay tuned!
Labels: mad dreamer ep 1
By Loysius Gräfenberg @
Saturday, November 7, 2009, 12:55 PM
Birthdays and updates.
HELLO. saloo. MY GAWD, when was the last time i updated this site of mine. LONG TIME AGO.
OK. so first of all, i know it's all really late, but gotta wish
Venessa, Juliana & Joanne a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
its late here, but not in reality, so yeah. :D
Anyways, two days ago, went on an outing to celebrate Juliana's birthday with Indah Kim and Jul herself, it was great, in fact, it was rather enjoyable hanging out with those girls. But then we went to watch a movie, Love happens. AND GOD HELP ME.
LOVE HAPPENS...sucked. really. i don't always critisize shows, coz it is the time, blood and sweat shed by directors that are a million times more talented than me. but i don't understand the plot, i don't see a point of making the movie, i see no shit innit. all i see, is a show for people that have a family member dead or something. to help them recover. i see no relations between the show and the name LOVE HAPPENS at all. towards the end of the movie, i was wondering that and asked Indah that. i think she also dunno. lol.
while getting out of the movie theatre, i even heard a bunch of girls from other schools saying they wasted their money for it. Secretly, i felt the same. HAIZ. wa a bad show for Juliana's birthday. we could have just watched Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs or something else. In fact, i had another 'date' from junyuan to watch that. (FOL).
I would have watched (500) days of summer rather than that, coz it's seriously 10 times better. i would rather watch Coraline too. they're more interesting. So to sum up the worst Romantic/drama i watched i shall rate it:
LOVE HAPPENS Loysius' Rating:
۞۞ 2/5 stars- Poor... watch it only when you are extremely down in love or have a dead closed one or something.
So, later the girls wanted to shop at Ion orchard, so we headed there, and MY, WAS I HUNGRY. we went into a sushi restaurant and played the T and D cards thing before the movie, it was fun. but i didn't feel the hunger calls then.
yeah, Juliana and Kimbelyn were like super happy shopping, looking at shoes and glamourous clothes, seeing them happy after that shitty show made me happy too, it also tided over the awkwardness of being in girls boutique stores that doesn't appeal much to me. but my mom always brings me to these places for me to be her walking mannequin, so yeah.
and WOW, 5-6 fingers tall was one of those high heels that i saw there. A killer really. it must really take some skill to walk in those heels without falling. HAHAHA. EH, but Indah was all silent and mature, not really joining the 'shopping fun', i wasn't quite sure what she was pulling off, but, man, she asked many questions. regarding
Joyce Cooper. LOL
if that whole day was a show, Richelle and Dawn made a cameo. HAHAHA. met them there too. damned wierd to see richelle there. XD
so yeah ended the day, was tired, and skipped many extended curriculum. Woo Hoo. schools over anyways.
Right. Now for updates, I'm so sorry, now the problem is not that i'm busy, but i don't have access to computers and my dad's in... a pretty bad mood. so yeah. i have no time to update my Tumblelog, another apology here. I will have post of some of my wierdest dreams next and other recent current stuffs that will happen in the future. NOW, all my computers are dying, and even now while typing my dad's computer screen is flickering like madness. one day everything will just fail and i will just end up with crappy wifi mobile internet connection. SERIOUSLY FML.
that's all for now, SEE YOU!
Labels: Juliana's birthday, love happens, updates
By Loysius Gräfenberg @
Thursday, November 5, 2009, 12:25 AM